Can we all agree on these two statements? 1) People with good information make good decisions.  2) We are all flawed — each and every one of us can improve our effectiveness technically and as leaders.

Here’s the catch: in order to improve, we need to receive candid and timely feedback about our performance.  And, to the point of this enews, we need to give candid and timely feedback to the people who work for us.

So, why don’t we do it? What’s YOUR excuse? Why don’t YOU give your people the constructive (and sometimes difficult) feedback they need to get better at their jobs? I don’t mean to single YOU out; I run into this issue with almost all my clients!  Without singling anyone out, this is an issue I encounter consistently.  I’m even guilty. A number of years ago, a TWC team member I hired to help me with a long and complicated project confronted me with this feedback: “Karen, I’m worried that if you ever had negative feedback to give me, I would just never hear from you again.” And he was correct! When members of my team didn’t perform to expectations, my tendency was just not to use them on the next project – or maybe ever again. Doug’s feedback was a turning point for me as a leader. I learned that the folks who work with me want to know what they can do to improve their results. As a result, I’m constantly working to provide constructive feedback to them.

I have my own theories about what keeps people from giving robust feedback, but was curious to see what other professionals had to say. I posted the following question to the online business community of LinkedIn:

Why do you think it is so hard for managers and leaders
to give their people the constructive (and sometimes difficult) feedback they need to get better at their jobs?

I heard an earful! My thanks to all who responded so eloquently. The majority of comments fell into one of the following six excuses (oops, I meant categories):

• We don’t know how.
• We wait too long.
• We don’t want to be hurtful.
• We lose focus on why feedback is important.
• We are fearful.
• We are not measured on it.

Here’s a slightly edited sample of the responses, categorized by excuse, along with ideas for overcoming them.

EXCUSE 1: We don’t know how.
“Managers do not have the skills and conversation structure for giving feedback.” – Tony Latimer, master executive coach, co-founder Horseplay Asia, training director at Asia Coach Institute, president ICF Singapore

Advice
Keep your feedback fact-based. “In order to be truly constructive, especially when it’s tough, the feedback must be as fact-based and as non-judgmental as possible. Numbers work best, and if you haven’t set measurable goals and tracked them effectively, you’re going to have a hard time giving fact-based numerical feedback.” – Tom O’Dea, owner, WSI Internet Marketing

Feedback is not about forms. A Fast Company article puts it this way: “Anyone who equates delivering feedback with filling out forms has lost the battle for smart appraisal before it’s begun.” Consultant Kelly Allen is quoted in the article saying: “If you use forms as the basis for meetings about performance you change only one thing – what might have been a natural, helpful conversation into an awkward, anxious inspection.”

Develop your skills as a coach. Today’s leaders need strong coaching skills if they are to achieve the necessary business results and support their employees’ growth into tomorrow’s leaders. Consider taking a coaching workshop so that you will know how to give really good feedback to your employees.

EXCUSE 2: We wait too long.
“Some of the hesitation to give timely feedback can be attributed to the very nature of an “annual performance evaluation” exercise which encourages you to save up these constructive tidbits to make good use of the time set aside at the end of the year. Having been a part of very well-led and very poorly-led teams, an environment that fosters timely and constructive feedback is certainly a common trait among the good ones.” – T.J. Graven, VP, Director of Business Solutions and Technology at Brown-Forman Corporation

Advice
Don’t delay. Practice being intentional about providing feedback immediately or nearly immediately.  Start with one direct report, one instance, and try to formulate and deliver the feedback within 24 hours.  A coaching client I am working with now has found that, so far, the feedback she agonized over delivering is, in fact well-received.  She has learned that folks do want to know how they can get better results.

“A working relationship is like any kind of personal relationship. Open, timely and honest communication makes all the difference in the world.” – Jeff Unger, owner, Jeff Unger and Associates, Inc. and management consulting consultant

Okay, delay sometimes.  If you are providing feedback around an emotionally charged event, wait a day or two. “Sometimes you’re so emotional that it makes sense to wait,” advises Rick Maurer, author of Feedback Toolkit. “Let your gut be your guide.” And find an appropriate time and place. Don’t give important feedback,” advises Maurer, in the hallway.”

Create just-in-time feedback. The Fast Company article mentioned above challenges managers to build feedback into routine meetings and memos. The article encourages managers to learn to deliver feedback through email, voice mail, and short notes. “If we really want a just-in-time workforce,” argues business author Bruce Tulgan, “we have to create just-in-time feedback.”

EXCUSE 3: We don’t want to be hurtful. Or, put another way: it is nice to be nice.
“I believe it [reluctance to give feedback] primarily may be due to our society’s current emphasis on being “positive” and not doing anything to harm others’ self esteem.” – Philip Eschels, member at Greenebaum Doll & MacDonald

This is an excuse that resonates with me personally.  What if the feedback provided is injurious?  What if the receiver is angry?  Anecdotally, this is the most frequently voiced concern in coaching sessions with clients.

Advice
Being direct isn’t being mean. In fact, it is one of the kindest things you can do for your employees. State the positive outcome you want to see, being as descriptive as possible. Don’t forget to communicate that you are “on their side.”  And then, tell that person the news—your feedback in a direct AND caring fashion.

Make feedback more acceptable. A recent Harvard Business Review article, entitled “A Better Way to Deliver Bad News” notes that people tend to be more willing to accept feedback when they have the feeling that:

• The person offering the feedback is reliable and has good intentions toward them.
• The feedback development process is fair – that is, the person giving the feedback collects all relevant information; allows the subordinate to clarify and explain matters; considers the subordinate’s opinions; and applies consistent standards when delivering criticism.
• The feedback communication process is fair – that is, the person offering feedback pays careful attention to the subordinate’s ideas; shows respect for the subordinate; and supports the subordinate despite their disagreements.

Partner for improvement. “Genuinely work with your employees to see how you might help them improve, either through your own actions, or training, or other resources in the organization.” – Heather Stagl, Owner and Leadership Coach at Enclaria Leadership

EXCUSE 4: We lose focus on why feedback is important.
“I believe that the person delivering the feedback has to ground themselves on why the feedback needs to be given: 1) to help the individual grow and 2) to be a good steward of the organization. When I have to deliver tough feedback, it helps me tremendously to remind myself that I am not doing the individual a favor if I withhold important, though difficult, feedback. I would also not be serving my employer properly if I don’t seek to improve the performance of the organization’s resources.” – Raul Pino, technology and strategy executive at CARE

Advice
It is your job to give feedback. Giving feedback to your employees is essential to grow and develop and to build successful organizations. With coaching clients, we frequently create a “coaching grid” that lists each direct report and one or two specific development needs for each person.  Keeping the grid foremost in their daily work then greatly increases leaders’ likelihood of taking advantage of their daily interactions with employees to focus on their improvement and deliver needed performance feedback.

EXCUSE 5:  We are fearful.
“For some, it may be fear of potential conflict, for others maybe fear of not being liked or fear of damaging a relationship that they value.” – Bo Carrington, senior consultant at The Hayes Group International

One reason I believe managers are reluctant to give hard, but constructive feedback, is fear – fear of how the feedback will be received by the employee (i.e., they might be mad, cry, etc.) and fear of how they, the manager, will be perceived. This fear often stems from a lack of practice in effective coaching.” – Lynette Green, interactive project manager at Brown-Forman Corporation

“Even managers and leaders want to be liked – at least most do. And difficult feedback doesn’t appear to go hand-in-hand with being liked. Ironically, well prepared and delivered feedback could be the most valuable contribution a manager can make to an employee’s development.” – Tom O’Dea

Advice
Make feedback an expected and routine part of your supervisory style. The more often you give feedback, the easier it becomes to do – and the easier it is for an employee to respond to. Remember employees are starving for feedback and recognition. They want to be challenged and they want to know how they are doing. If you regularly compliment accomplishments and identify problem areas with the intent to teach, rather than punish, feedback will become an expected and welcomed part of your style.

EXCUSE 6: We are not measured on it.
“I have worked within organizations where leaders were hesitant to give critical feedback because their performance was graded partially (but significantly) on how well their employees ‘liked’ them.” – Bo Carrington

“I believe the discussions fail to take place when a manager is not being appropriately measured and held accountable by his/her own manager. – David Metzger, sourcing at GE Consumer & Industrial

Advice
Measure your managers for how well they develop their employees. Along with metrics around hard business deliverables, managers should also be measured on soft deliverables: team morale, team member development and promotion, succession planning, conflict resolution. We focus on what we’re being measured on.” – David Metzger

So, think about it. What is your excuse? What is your feedback phobia? And what, are you going to do about it? Please share your thoughts/action plans with us.

Many thanks to my connections on LinkedIn who provided important and helpful comments for this newsletter!

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Michael Bloomberg

• What’s the best advice you ever got?

Mayor of New York City, founder of Bloomberg LP

“I can’t remember who told me this, but I certainly didn’t grow up knowing it, so I must have gotten this advice at Salomon Brothers in the 1970s. The advice was, first, always ask for the order, and second, when the customer says yes, stop talking…” Fortune Magazine, May 12, 2008

On a long flight recently, I was catching up on some reading. An article in Fortune’s May 12 issue got my attention: The Best Advice I Ever Got, featuring responses from 19 very successful people including Larry Page, the founder of Google, Tina Fey, Gen. David Petraeus, and Robert Iger, CEO of Disney. (Click on the article name to read all 19 pieces of advice.)

And it got me thinking about the best advice I had ever gotten…

From Rollie Tillman at University of North Carolina’s Business School
“Separate the decision of what to do from how to pay for it.”

So frequently in strategic planning sessions with clients or when making personal decisions, the tendency is to go immediately to the shortage of current resources. This sage advice from my professor has frequently helped facilitate first the conversation about “What is the right action to take here?; What do we really want?; What is our vision for our best future?” Then, armed with a compelling view of what we want, we can begin to think about how to achieve it, and how to pay for it.

From another business school professor
Professor Rader at the Darden School taught Rader’s Rules and they had a profound impact on my husband, David. He has often shared them with me and the one I have found most useful is: “Get the facts or the facts will get you.” Harold Geneen, CEO of ITT called this “shaking the facts”. He told the story of buying a tract of land in Canada because of the plentiful and high quality lumber. After purchasing the land, someone finally went to see the land… and learned that the trees were all very small and thin because of the short growing season, and were many many years from being harvested. A graphic example of the need to verify the facts!

So often a conversation or problem-solving session roams from opinion to opinion. Those who know me know I am not always right, and I am rarely in doubt! Life has taught me to look for the facts in a situation and to base my decisions on them. If ignored, the facts have this incredible way of showing up when my actions contradict them.

From my Aunt Alean
“Don’t expect anyone to take care of your financial needs except you.”

My aunt had a difficult life as a single parent in the 1960’s. She and my three cousins even had to come live in our three bedroom house for a time - and it already had seven people in it! Her determination to provide for her girls when life threw her some serious curve balls helped me see the value of being able to take care of oneself.

It was the same important lesson that Maria Shriver shares in her book: Ten Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Went Out in the World.This short book is based on a commencement speech she gave at the College of the Holy Cross. It is full of wisdom and insight for young folks begining their careers. Now, how do we transmit that value to our children? It is a question that has real meaning as our children, Julie and Ed, become young adults.

So, what is the best advice you ever got? Please share it here by hitting the comment button… we’ll compile all the responses and share them later this summer!

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You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between”

Bing Crosby may have been on to something when he sang these lyrics by Johnny Mercer in the 1944 patriotic film, Here Come the Waves. Whereas in the past, much of psychology and organizational change initiatives focused on fixing what was “broken,” there is now a whole body of research that points to the effectiveness of building on strengths and competencies — focusing on “what’s working,” not “what’s broken.” In the human realm, this emphasis is called Positive Psychology; in the corporate world, it’s called Appreciative Inquiry.

In our work with individuals and organizations, we see the power of this positive emphasis — and, along with our clients — it awes us. During a recent Wunderlin Company workshop built around the book Now, Discover Your Strengths, Chip Keeling, VP of Corporate Communications for E. ON U.S. stood up and said to the group, “I used to say, ‘Don’t let X go to any more writing courses. She is already an excellent writer. Have her go to a workshop that addresses a developmental need.’ I now realize the folly of spending our very-limited training dollars trying to make improvements in areas of weakness. We need to focus our training budget on developing our talents into strengths — making our best writers better.”

In this issue of Changing Times, we share resources and techniques for building on your strengths and also on those of the people you manage, and we share some ways to build a strengths-based organization.

So, as Crosby sings, let’s:

“Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between.” (more…)

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In this issue we’ve set out to help you understand the nature of creativity and how to develop it at the personal and organizational level. We hope to convince you that creativity is not something with which you are born. It is something that can be developed by opportunity, encouragement, training, motivation, and most of all –practice.

Success in business today demands that we constantly innovate. We must continually reinvent our organizations and ourselves, dissolving old ideas and creating new models for changing markets. We must continually look for the next opportunity by finding hidden connections and insights into new products or services. Creativity is a requirement.

Savvy managers understand that brainpower is their most valuable resource and that harnessing creativity requires passion and commitment. The payoff is big - as success flows directly from innovation! (more…)

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In my 25 years of working with organizations to implement and manage change I’ve seen, participated in, and recommended an emphasis on excellent analytical thinking: fix the systems; re-engineer processes; enhance quality; streamline procedures; flatten the organizational structure…. Unfortunately, the mechanistic analysis alone applied to problems rarely succeeds in persuading organizations to change. It simply does not take into account the complexity, the clutter, the chaos, the confusion of a living, breathing, modern organization. While it might excite the mind, it rarely touches the heart.

What I have come to know is that storytelling, done appropriately, is the key to catalyzing change. It doesn’t replace analytical thinking; it supplements it by enabling one to imagine new perspectives and new worlds. The right story can communicate complicated change ideas while generating momentum toward rapid implementation. The right story can help an organization reinvent itself by getting into the minds of individuals and affecting how they think, wonder, agonize, and dream about themselves and their organization. It can help them see things in a different light and change behavior. Simply put, a powerful story can transform individuals and organizations. It can drive commitment and action.

This issue is devoted to the art and craft of storytelling in the business environment. Settle in and journey along with us as we explore this powerful tool for managing change. (more…)

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Neither a high IQ, nor a prestigious business degree, nor technical know-how is a reliable indicator of professional success. Rather, the single most important factor in job performance and advancement is emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions in ourselves and in our relationships. Simply put, emotional intelligence is the intelligent use of emotions. It encompasses maturity, emotional health, and “grownupness.” You intentionally make your emotions work for you by using them to help guide your behavior and thinking in ways that enhance your results.

For leaders, emotional intelligence accounts for almost 90 percent of what sets “stars” apart from the mediocre. And organizations that build emotional intelligence in groups are the ones that are vital and dynamic today - and will remain so in the future.

Unlike IQ, EI can be developed and dramatically increased at any age. But boosting your EI takes extensive practice, feedback, and personal enthusiasm for making the change. Are you up to the challenge?

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(more…)

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The problem isn’t time; it’s us. It’s not about how to check more things off our lists; it’s about recognizing how our current behavior diminishes our effectiveness. We all struggle daily with getting the items on our “to do” list checked off - and rarely do we have a day when we complete all the actions we plan. In fact, productivity expert David Allen says that the average executive has 170 interactions a day and has 200-300 hours of projects and actions backlogged. No wonder we are stressed!

While getting a better handle on time management is certainly important, lately I’ve come to think a big part of the problem isn’t how we manage time but rather how we manage ourselves. In this issue, we focus on changing behavior patterns that waste time: people-pleasing, procrastination or perfectionism - in others and ourselves, taking other people’s “monkeys” off their backs and onto ours, and underestimating the value of our time and thereby spending it on low-yielding jobs.

We’ll help you concentrate on results, not on being busier. As time management expert Alan Lakein puts it,: “to waste your time is to waste your life, but to master your time is to master your life.” (more…)

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There’s Always Room for Improvement

Michael Jordan knows an important lesson in life: no matter how good you are, there’s always room for improvement. I once heard him being congratulated about achieving another scoring title — he responded by noting that he also had led his team in turnovers that year!

Like Jordan, many progressive leaders are recognizing and acting on this lesson. Many of these leaders are using an executive coach to identify particular areas that need improvement, challenge them to improve in measurable ways and provide support along the way. This approach to individual development is gaining momentum daily…and is the type of improvement device we want our clients and friends to be knowledgeable about—for themselves and their valued employees.

This newsletter is devoted to the subject of how to use (and how to choose) an executive coach. Be like Mike!

• Look to a Coach to Provide a Foundation for Change
• 360-degree Feedback:
  A Powerful Enhancement to the Coaching Process
• Some Straight Talk from a CEO
• Coaches are in Demand:
  (The trick though, is knowing how to use them)

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Look to a Coach to Provide a Foundation for Change

by Judy Futch

Coaching provides a unique opportunity to work on specific goals and issues that are affecting your performance and that you are interested in changing. There are three foundational concepts that a coach can provide: assessment, challenge and support. * (more…)

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Nearly 15 years ago, Stephen R. Covey first published his #1 National Bestseller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People If you are one of the few people that haven’t read it (or if you read it so long ago that you don’t remember it), he presents a holistic, integrated, principle-centered approach for solving personal and professional problems. My favorite of his “7 habits” is one he calls “Sharpening the Saw.” He introduces this habit with the following story:

Suppose you were to come upon someone in the woods working feverishly to saw down a tree.
“What are you doing?” you ask.
“Can’t you see?” comes the impatient reply. “I’m sawing down this tree.”
“You look exhausted!” you exclaim. “How long have you been at it?”
“Over five hours,” he returns, “and I’m beat! This is hard work.”
“Well, why don’t you take a break for a few minutes and sharpen that saw?” you inquire. “I’m sure it would go a lot faster.”
“I don’t have time to sharpen the saw,” the man says emphatically. “I’m too busy sawing!”

Covey contends that we must take care of the single most powerful investment we can ever make in life — investment in ourselves. (more…)

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The Discipline of Getting Things Done

In today’s business environment, it is critical for organizations to respond quickly when the unexpected happens. The organizations that can do this best are ones that know how to execute well. They design strategies that are more road maps than rigid plans filed away in fat planning books. They design strategies that can be executed, and execution paces everything.

Execution is a discipline of its own. It is a discipline for achieving success and gaining competitive advantage. Some individuals and organizations are better at it than others. With this issue, we visit with executives who we believe are really good at “getting things done.” We asked them to share their thoughts on execution in broad terms and then to divulge their secrets for how they go about getting things done. We think you will find their comments inspiring. Who knows what you might get done after reading their remarks!

Meet our “Execution Experts”

We are pleased to introduce our “execution experts”: (more…)

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